On the phone, Murray sounded  like a nice guy, and since he was in his early 80s, Bernice had no problem inviting him into her home to pick her up for their dinner date. At his age. he was not likely to be a sex — or homicidal — maniac.  When the doorbell rang and he entered, she sat on her couch, and Murray sat on a chair opposite her.

The conversation went well, and they were early for their restaurant reservation, so after 15 minutes or so, Bernice said graciously, “Murray, you’re so far away. Why don’t you sit next to me?”

It was a signal some might have thought “a bit forward.” But Bernice is as honest as young cherry tree chopping George Washington, and doesn’t play games. She was signaling, “So far I kind of like you. Let’s get to know one another better.” It was the first move in what might be called The Chess Game of Love, and the opening gambit of what became a wonderful nine-year relationship.

There are a lot of ways to say, “I kind of like you.” Some women are embarrassed to express them, but they go a long way toward jump-starting a relationship. Men need signals. They clear the air. They eliminate doubt. The man doesn’t have to wonder, “Does she or doesn’t she like me? Am I wasting my time?” They are encouragement to keep phoning and keep ringing that doorbell.

The best signal of all is straightforward, and it can be a great icebreaker. One woman we know opened her door to a first date to find a surprising visitor. Stunned by his good looks, she said, “My goodness. You’re so handsome. You’re almost as good-looking as my husband was.  Come on in.” He laughed. She laughed, and their relationship was off to a good start. The lesson: Don’t hesitate to give a sincere compliment.  And — as long as it’s positive — don’t keep what you’re thinking a secret.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 15th, 2010 at 10:00 pm and is filed under 50-plus dating advice, Dating, relationships, Senior dating, Where to Find Love. You can read any previous responses to this blog post by hitting this RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.


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