Archive for March, 2010

Boomer Dating: Winning Words

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

I am convinced more each day that if a woman wants to go from being a one-some to a two-some, the most important change she can make in her life is to hang her cloak of shyness and timidity deep in the back of her closet.

Case in point. A couple of evenings ago, my friend Gwen and I parked our car in our favorite restaurant’s lot and headed for the door.  When I reached it, I stopped dead.  Standing there, waiting for friends I guess, was a tall, silver-haired, attractive man. Two words popped out of my big mouth: “You’re cute!”

He almost fell over, then recovered quickly. “Well, you’re beautiful,” he said.  (Stunned by my unexpected remark, he had obviously suffered a concussion.) “Are you married?” I asked. “No,” he said, “what about you?”

“Actually,” I said, “I was thinking about you for a lovely friend of mine.” That didn’t work out. When I told him she lived two hours away, he quickly dismissed her, explaining, “I only date local women.” By that time, appetites were calling, and Gwen and I said goodbye and went into the restaurant for dinner.

I tell this story because it’s a perfect example of how easily a relationship can begin with a couple of well-chosen (in this case, spontaneous) words. I’m in a long-time relationship, but if I weren’t, it would have been dinner for three instead of two. As little girls, we’re taught to be polite, well-mannered, and tospeak to strangers only when spoken to – and probably not then. You can let those lessons stick forever like crazy-glue, or  you can decide that you’re a big girl now and, within sensible limits  (you wouldn’t strike up a conversation with a grim-looking man packing a 45), you can say what you think when you think it.

Too many of us see an attractive man – at a museum, on a bus, at church or a social gathering – and think, “Umm, I’d love to meet him,” but swallow the thought and the four or five words it would take to make it happen.

Try it.  You’ll like it. So, I’ll bet  (we all like compliments) will he.