Archive for January, 2010

Senior Dating: Playing the Blame Game

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

So you’re on your second date, the first one was so promising that he takes you to a holiday office party. Scores of employees are milling around, drinks in hand. You stand quietly beside him while he chats briefly with a man you assume is an office pal. But he doesn’t introduce you. Then a woman comes by. Again: two-way conversation and you feel like a termite-infested tree. Finally, he introduces you to someone, but it’s too late. You’re still steaming.

“I’m going home!” you say angrily. “You just stay and enjoy yourself!” You turn to go. He clutches your arm. “What’s wrong?” he asks. “What have I done?”

“It’s what you haven’t done.  Ten friends and one introduction! What am I? A leper? If  you’re ashamed of me, next time just  come yourself.”

“Oh, no,” he exclaims. “You don’t understand. This is a big company. There’s no way I can know everybody’s name.  Even if I do  know them, sometimes under pressure people get a mental block. I’m one of those people. I bet it’s happened to you, too.  But  I’m sorry. Really sorry.”

Okay, that makes sense. It’s forgivable. But it doesn’t solve the problem. This does. Next time you’re in a who-are-you social situation — and it can happen just bumping into an acquaintance walking down the street — all you need to do is say to the “nameless” newcomer, “I’m Roberta. What’s your name?”

He (or she) tells you his (or her) name. You’ve self-introduced smoothly. Your date is saved embarrassment.  You don’t feel left out and offended. And everyone goes home happy.